comic-con 2002

adam, jonathan, sumir, and vince on 08/09/2002 12:19:50 -0700

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This was by far the most hysterical panel any of us attended (and, in fact, the only one we ALL attended).  Sci-Fi experts Dan Vebber (Futurama), Daren Dochterman (Talk Trek), Robert Meyer Burnett (Free Enterprise), Steve Melking (The Mummy Returns), and moderator Mark A. Altman (Cinescape) were the panelists.  They were gathered to a packed audience to discuss one of the most profound questions in all of existence - which starship is the best?

In the geekiest and most hilarious panel I've ever seen (Altman said at one point, "Oh my god, this is by far the stupidest panel ever"), sixteen starships were put in a single elimination format to determine the winner.  The panelists would discuss the merits and flaws of each for a little bit and then vote based on that discussion and their personal feelings on the subject.

The contestants were: the Cygnus (huh?), the Mothership from V, the Close Encounters mothership, the Eagle Transporter from Space 1999, the Independence Day City Ship, Selaco from Aliens, the Cylon Basestar, Battlestar Galactica, Discovery I from 2001, the Enterprise NCC-1701 from the original Star Trek, the Salvage I from a random late 70s show starring Andy Griffith, Jupiter 2 from whothehellknowswhat, the Imperial Super Star Destroyer, Carl Sagan's Starship of the Imagination (WHOOHOO!), Imperial Star Destroyer, and the Enterprise NCC-1701D from Star Trek: The Next Generation.

MM intern Jonathan gave Altman the plastic bag to mix up the names of the ships, so I guess he was our random seed.  Good job, Jonathan.  Here is how the brackets looked when the dust had settled (sorry, no time to make graphical brackets like in Superhero Showdown!):

Cygnus
V Mothership		  V Mothership

CE Mothership		  Eagle		  Eagle
Eagle Transporter

ID4 City Ship
Selaco			  ID4 City Ship	  Galactica	Galactica

Cylon Base Star		  Galactica
Battlestar Galactica

							    ENTERPRISE 1701

Discovery I
Enterprise NCC-1701	  Enterprise

Salvage I			  Salvage I	  Enterprise	Enterprise
Jupiter 2

Imp. Super Star Destroyer
Starship of Imagination	  Imagination	  Imagination

Imperial Star Destroyer	  Star Destroyer
Enterprise NCC-1701D

With references to the French ("zee French ahawhaw"), quantum singularities, Randy Quaid in a biplane, mobility and warp speed, Captain Kirk, Darth Vader, HAL, "hot blondes", and - of course - Carl Sagan getting high.

The very coolest thing this panel did was put Carl Sagan's Starship of the Imagination in the contest.  When it defeated the Imperial Super Star Destroyer 5-0, we were all screaming so very loudly.  It was the single greatest moment in the entire con.  The power of imagination triumphing was a beautiful thing indeed.  Of course, the Imagination got ROBBED in the second round - how can the Imperial Star Destroyer defeat it and not the SUPER version?  IT MAKES NO SENSE!

Seriously, though, this was a great last panel to attend.  It was sort-of rigged in retrospect, but... whatever.  It was so funny that it alone was worth the price of admission.  I asked Daren Dochterman for some memorabilia from the Smackdown, but he couldn't give me anything as they'd use it for other cons and expos - so if you're going to one, definitely plan on going to this panel!  Jonathan wrote down some good quotes:

	"Nobody corrupts the Smackdown!"
	For Richard Hutch: "We have a cheeseburger for you."
	Argument posed: "Cygnus survived a black hole".
	When talking about weapons: "You can just shoot people out of the Salvage I at the Enterprise."
	"V took place in the present day.  Space 1999 took place in the future.  Everything from the future is better."
	"The ID4 mothership is fueled by hate.  The Galactica is fueled by hope.  I would like to think hope would win."
	"I think Episodes I and II have already defeated all imagination."
	"In the real world evil can do some really good things."
	"I am so sick of you people subjecting yourself to James T. Kirk!"
	"This panel was over before we came."

- Sumir

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