crisis in the herculean straits!

by carlos on 07/21/2002 19:59:39 -0700

On July 11, 2002, a band of a dozen Moroccan gendarmes disembarked from their country's coast and landed on the Spanish island of Perejil 200 yards away.   They cunningly made their way to a strategic high point, and planted the red and green Moroccan flag for the world to see.  For the first time in over 25 years, Morocco had invaded Spanish land!

The resulting diplomatic crisis has pit NATO against the Arab League and brought the Mediterranean to the brink of armed conflict.  I am Carlos, war correspondent for Mediocre Minds, speaking to you from the relative calm and safety of the Northern California and keeping our readership informed on this potentially devastating development.  Calm dialogue between the involved countries could see the situation resolved without American intervention, but it is too early to tell.

La isla Perejil (Parsley Island) – Leila (night) in Arabic – is small, with a 320-acre area, inhabited by a herd of goats and occasionally by a Moroccan family or two.  Its strategic value lies in a large cave with a capacity of 200 people – a favorite hiding place of drug runners and illegal immigrants sought by the Spanish coastal police.  The Moroccan gendarmes have said that many of their investigations lead them to this cave and for this reason they want the island.

It is indisputable that Perejil is Spanish territory.  In 711AD the Moorish general Tarik began the invasion which put most of Spain under Arab control until the Reconquest of the 15^th century.  During the Reconquest, Spain made some small incursions onto the Moroccan coast, taking the city of Ceuta and Melilla along with some islands, including Perejil.  In fact, Spain took Ceuta even before retaking Granada back on the mainland.  The islands and cities served as buffer zones in the centuries afterwards, and unofficially remain so today.  This 1746 document presents a map of the island and notes on its geography and history.  Highlighted in yellow are the words: "Note that said island belongs to Spain since time immemorial..." and something about "being of Christians" at the end.  This should leave no doubt to our readers of the illegitimacy of Morocco's actions.

The days immediately following the incident were tenser than the size of the island might indicate; there were fears of King Mohammed VI going power-hungry and invading Ceuta and Melilla.  "If you let the Moroccans take that little bit of rock, what's to stop them from landing on this beach?" asked British tourist Janet Byron.  Spain therefore had only one possible choice of action: carry on with the feel-good negotiations and use NATO's full political backing to give a show of force.  Moreover, this was more than a mere island.  Perejil was a special part of Spanish culture, according to the radio station SER: on that island Calypso held Odysseus for seven years.  Such a landmark could not be lost.  And so Operación Cantada ('cantada' has the double meaning 'song' and 'obvious') was born...

The Response

The initial invaders were members of Morocco's Royal Gendarmerie, the national police force.  Twelve gendarmes held the island for a few days, stationed within two large tents.  Upon realizing that Spain was taking the situation seriously, the Moroccan Navy relieved the gendarmes with six marines carrying a large aluminum shelter from their largest frigate, the Lieutenant Colonel Errhamani.  These would be the defending forces in Operación Cantada, the possible spearhead for a new Moorish expansionist period.

The Spanish forces involved consisted of three frigates, four Cougar transport helicopters, three smaller Huey utility choppers, and 28 special ops troops of the foreign legion.  The political-correctness high ground was with them too; the special ops troops included female and minority Spanish soldiers, whereas the Moroccan princess had to be covered by a blanket when she paraded through Rabat after Morocco's invasion.  Anyway, the plan was to disembark the frigates from the city of Ceuta in three directions, at dawn of Wednesday the 17^th.  The first was to draw the Moroccan frigate from the island, at which point the seven helicopters were to take off from the second.  According to plan they would surround the island, neutralize the Moroccan soldiers, land the 28 legionnaires, and plant the Spanish flag over Perejil.

The small number of variables greatly facilitated the operation.  The helicopters established positions around the island, and the Huey with a megaphone convinced the Moroccans to drop their arms and surrender.  By then the Cougars had landed.  Taking their time, the legionnaires marched over to the center of the island, and in the dramatic climax of the battle, they boldly subdued the unarmed Moroccan marines!  One hour after landing, the Spanish flag was flying over the island and Odysseus's legacy was safe.

Morocco called it "an act of war."  NATO applauded.  The US called for calm and offered to broker a treaty.  Colin Powell was sent over.  The Moroccan marines were returned home.  No one and no goat was hurt.  And then... another invasion!

A Moroccan youth, a true patriot, brave, anonymous, crazy, and riding in an orange dinghy cunningly evaded the Spanish Civil Guard boats and approached the edge of the island, armed only with the Moroccan flag.  Unable to overpower the 28 legionnaires, he was caught just before planting his flag among the rocks, upon which he quickly swallowed a handful of unidentified pills.  He was released into a hospital.  The fate of his dinghy remains classified.

Now what?  The United States has announced that both sides have arrived at an agreement to leave the island unoccupied by troops, but neither has given up their claim on the island.  Will Colin Powell's new treaty be any more effective than his Middle East attempts?  The Jihad in other parts of the Muslim world has already taken notice and has made Perejil a part of their agenda.  Any more civilian incursions and the UN will have to deploy peacekeepers to protect the island.  England is not safe either.  Gibraltar is not only claimed by Spain too, but also wanted by some Moroccans, as it is where Moorish general Tarik first landed in his medieval invasion of Spain.

The world is given another flashpoint.  A flashpoint that could see your author drafted into the Spanish army and shipped to fight over goats.  Awaiting either no draft at all or a more glorious tour of duty, this is Carlos Sempere, signing off.