sumir is the manby adam on 07/06/2002 16:24:05 -0700After a long time off, I've decided to once again commence writing for this site. What brings me back so suddenly, you ask? Well, I need to let everyone know that Sumir, the webmaster of Mediocre Minds, has been subverted and has joined the legion of darkness. What, oh trustworthy Adam, is the legion of darkness you ask? Well, no, it's not some religious cult or animal sacrificing group, it is rather a summer job. Now, it may seem hypocritical for me to give to Sumir this much disrespect over a summer job, as I myself have held some fairly questionable positions, such as telemarketer, and currently salesperson at a large electronics superstore. If Sumir had gotten a job along those lines, I would not be criticizing him. Nay, I would probably instead just hit him in the head and take his money when he went unconscious. Now not only do I need to do that, but I also need to bring his youthful indiscretions to the forefront. Well, now I will cut to the chase. Sumir has gotten a job working for pressplay, the organization funded by the crime-bosses at Sony and Universal who intend to charge for digital music. Yes, it's true. Rebellious, angsty, sometimes-hippie tree-hugger (he must hug trees, he's a vegetarian) Sumir has gotten a job whose intention is to destroy the freedom of the Internet. He will even freely admit that he is working for an evil corporation, but yet he considers to receive his money from them. I believe he may too far gone into the depths of corporate America to ever be recovered. Perhaps now he will simply mindlessly vote for George W. Bush over and over while talking about "those immigrants that steal jobs" and stuff. Sumir's job isn't that evil, you say? Well, I found, lying in the apartment, one of the orientation documents that Sumir received one of his first days on the job. I'll let you judge for yourself. ************************ To: New pressplay Team Member On behalf of the entire pressplay team, we'd like to welcome you SUMEER to the pressplay team. By now you should have explored some of the offices and perhaps have had a chance to meet some of your fellow pressplay team members. Here at pressplay it is our number one goal to ensure that all of our team members are happy and enjoy their workplace. As such, we have just a few ground-rules we'd like to lay out in order that everyone is happy.
We hope your stay will be a long one and that you
enjoy everything you see here. We must remind you, however, that nothing
that you see or hear in this office is to leave it. That includes all
paper-work, such as this memorandum, which is to be destroyed as soon as
you have completed reading it. If suspicions have been aroused by any of
your friends or family, we encourage you to visit the Human Resource
department, where they will be sure to give you plenty of "decoy
information" that will help deflect some of the negative attention this
site has been given recently. There you have it. The pressplay team is really intent upon
keeping any information from the public, but luckily I have found this
document. I do believe Sumir may be put in harm's way if this is posted
to the Internet, but it's a risk I'm willing to take to keep the Internet
free. Monday, July 1, 2002 09:00 AM - Arrive work. Daily lylty oath. |